Optimism. Hope. Gratitude. Strengths. Happiness. Compassion. These are some of the topics explored by the field of positive psychology. But they are rarely words spoken by a client during a typical intake session. Why is that?
Most people enter therapy because something in their life is not as they wish it would be. Whether in the interpersonal world or the private world, the focus of therapy is often on pain points. And this is a sensible approach. By bringing into greater awareness that which is troubling, and perhaps learning to view struggles from a different perspective, change can be created.
But my approach to psychotherapy extends beyond symptom reduction. I believe good therapy should help with more than a return to baseline. My goal is to help clients on their path to flourishing. To support individuals in stepping into their unrealized potential. To clarify what is most important to them and to take meaningful steps to living the life they want. This necessitates spending time in the domain of positive psychology.
When I work with a client, I strive to support them in connecting to the good things in life. For many people, this is hard. When inhabiting the world of sadness, depression, anxiety, loss, or meaninglessness, it is common to lose sight of the good stuff.
I often ask clients to linger on a memorable sweet moment in their life. To revisit a time when things felt right. To close their eyes and to immerse themselves in a positive memory. Afterwards, I’ll ask if they maybe want their therapy to also be about creating more sweet moments. Most say yes.
Incorporating positivity into therapy is never done at the expense of the work the client wishes to do. Rather, bringing in joy and positivity is done so that a client may experience how positive feelings and negative feelings lay on the same spectrum, and rather than being distinct, are indeed interconnected and inseparable. As Steven Hayes says, we hurt where we care, and we care where we hurt. Opening up to this experience, that there is wisdom in both pain and joy, is a realization that often inspires change.
If you’re interested in incorporating the principles of positive psychology into your therapy, book an appointment with me to explore your path to flourishing.