Supporting a client in connecting with their values is at the core of my therapeutic work. But through the lens of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), values aren’t simply a list of what’s most important in life. Nor are they goals to be achieved or a set of rules to live by.
To be most helpful, values can be better thought of as freely chosen qualities of action. Values are a process to be enacted. Values are to be brought to life through behavioural choices that move a person in the direction they wish for their life to go.
Values exist in the present moment. They are not distant or abstract. Values are immediate and unending. They are a direction on a compass, not a point on the map.
This means that you can pivot towards your values right now. You can reorient yourself so that you are living and acting in a way that moves you in the direction of the life you want. You do not need to change your whole life to begin connecting more with your values – you only need to subtly adjust your focus.
When you make the pivot of thinking of values as a process, you naturally begin to spend more time in the present moment. Life becomes about the journey, not the destination. When standing atop a ski slope, the GOAL is to get to the bottom of the hill. But SKIING is about more than just making it to the bottom of the hill – it’s about immersing yourself in the experience of getting to the bottom of the hill.
It’s not “earning a degree”, it’s “learning purposefully”
It’s not “having a family”, it’s “loving my family unconditionally”
It’s not “being a friend”, it’s “connecting sincerely”
It’s not the outcome, it’s the process. And when it’s the process, your values become something that you can engage with day after day. And when you engage with what is most important to you day after day…well, who knows what could happen?
If you’re interested in finding out what could happen if you engage with your values day after day, book an appointment with me to discuss how you can bring your values to life.